Divorces are never pretty or fun to go through. Often, any meeting between the two spouses can be angry and sometimes vicious. If you’re on the receiving end of an angry spouse in a divorce proceeding, listen to your Los Angeles divorce lawyer and take this advice on how to act in the fact of hostility.
Remember Your Goals
When you are being provoked, ask yourself: Does getting angry over this help or hurt me in achieving my goals? If the answer is not “Absolutely,” do all you can to not take the bait. Remember that your soon-to-be-ex is hurt, upset, disappointed and angry (you probably are a little bit too.) Keep in mind that people going through all that tend to lash out. Make sure everything you do furthers your effort to fulfill your goals.
Ignore Insults Always
Again, some of this will just be to get a rise out of you, but it is very important you not react. If you feel you cannot let something go, correct the record, but only after you have calmed yourself and can address whatever was said civilly, to the judge. Do not address your ex directly.
Remember Any Children
Of all the people in a divorce, it’s the children who will suffer the most. Keep that in mind as you’re provoked. Your lashing out could affect custody and your ability to see them and care for them. Make sure you remain composed at all times.
Ask for a Break
If the onslaught is particularly vicious, ask your divorce lawyer to ask for a break. If the judge asks you why you need one, do not respond that you need time to calm down or some iteration of that. Tell the judge you need to use the restroom.
Remember the Judge has Seen it All
Just because your ex-spouse is savaging you doesn’t mean it has any resonance with the judge. They have literally seen every type of critique, trashing, rant, emotional explosion, etc. That generally lends itself to a more tempered approach to any criticism. They understand the raw emotions and anger involved and will not be easily swayed.
Focus on the Judge
With the exceptions of your divorce law firm, the judge has seen just about every type of divorce possible. Make sure if you are being attacked, you stay focused on the judge and show them you have it together.
Your Los Angeles divorce lawyer will handle the legal logistics of your divorce. That doesn’t mean your ex won’t try and provoke you; follow these rules to deprive them of the satisfaction of an outburst, but more importantly, to keep you on track with your goals.